It may seem odd to combine these topics but since Turks are, above all, hospitable and friendly they often will not say what about your behavior they might find offensive. The manner in which you dress is one of the easiest ways
to show that we respect their traditions.

In Turkey clothes do make the man. Men dress in suits and jackets for all kinds of business, women in suits and dresses. The working class population and peasantry though, at least in the rural areas, dress in ways that reflect their more traditional Muslim values, women wear everything from long-sleeve blouses and long skirts, to baggy pants (salvar), to long overcoats, headscarves, and thick stockings. The men of this class for the most part wear a drab version of what European workers once wore--an old, everyday suit and a billed cap or knitted hat.
 
While Turks are used to what tourists wear, particularly in the resort areas on the Aegean and Mediterranean, this is still not acceptable in places like the mosque. Long, loose skirts and tops with sleeves will be acceptable everywhere (ideal for mosque visits; cooler; as well as easier to manage in the ‘a la Turca toilets.’) A shawl, headscarf, or pareo are also necessary items for women since hair must be covered during mosque visits. For men, of course, there are far fewer restrictions. Men appearing at mosques in any kind of shorts are now routinely given sarong wraps to wear during the visit. Yet you better wear long pants on days you visit mosques.

Etiquette in Mosques

The mosque is a place of worship, not only during the five ritual prayers throughout the day but also a place for quiet devotions practically around the clock. Whenever you enter there will probably be worshipers scattered
about doing their devotions. Turkish Muslims are extremely open to foreign visitors and surprisingly tolerant of your presence; however, it has reached the point at the great historical mosques that some controls on visitation
have had to be introduced. In some mosques separate entrances for tourists and the devout have been instituted and the mosque hall has been partitioned off with railings to keep the two groups separate. Tourist groups are now
being requested not to enter the mosque when one of the five daily prayers are in progress. With the exception of Friday noon, the major public service that also features a sermon, the other daily prayer services are very brief matter of 20 minutes to a half an hour.
                                           
The major thing to remember is ‘A respectful silence’. And then ‘Protecting the carpets’.  The life of the mosque takes place on the carpets, in particular ‘salat’, the ritual prayer, in which Muslims prostrate themselves, pressing their hands and foreheads to the carpets (and sometimes even kissing them). Muslim practice requires that ‘salat’ should be performed on a clean surface. Most mosques will have plastic bags for shoes, you can carry your shoes in those plastic bags and return them when leaving the mosque. Do wear shoes that are easy to get in and out of.

The ‘Clean’ Area actually begins with the platformed area before the mosque entrance. You should step out of your shoes and onto this platform (often linoleum covered). You should not step onto this platform in your shoes, nor should you step on the pavement around the platform in your socks. There's nothing mystical about this; it is to prevent you from bringing dirt onto the mosque carpets on your socks. (The same ‘shoe etiquette’ prevails in most Turkish houses.) For the same reason you cannot put packages, umbrellas, shoes, etc. down on the carpets. Cleanliness is even more stringent for the worshipers, who must ritually wash themselves before entering for prayer. You will see them around the ablution fountains cleansing themselves.

Deportment in the mosque is also important. Standing with hands clasped behind one's back and hands in pockets are forms of behavior considered disrespectful (as is crossing one's legs in social situations). The Muslim worshiper shows reverence by extending his arms and cupping his hands to heaven. You don't need to go that far but you do have to keep our hands respectfully at our sides. While you are free to wander anywhere in the mosque (except when barriers have been put up to designate tourist areas) you are asked not to lie down or lounge about on the carpets (you will see a lot of this bad behavior unfortunately with large tour groups). Do not forget that you should never stand in front of someone who is praying.

By entering quietly and unobtrusively you will not only show respect and common courtesy, but you will also experience the atmosphere of the mosque and be able to discern the beauty and artistry of Ottoman mosque architecture. These are complex buildings that merit your attention and study.

Etiquette in Social Situations

Turkish ritual is breaking down with the effects of globalization, but still by comparison with Western life Turkish life has a beautiful formality to it. Chance encounters, arrivals, and departures have expected forms of behavior and expected ritual sayings. When you are introduced a handshake and direct eye contact is expected (unless you are a man dealing with a woman from a conservative background). Even if the occasion is business, the interaction begins with social questions about one's health, his/ her parents, family, kids etc.

Foreigners are usually startled by the very direct and often personal questions that are posed by Turks. They want to know your age, whether you are married, whether you have children, what work you do, even how much you money you make, all of these are polite questions in the Turkish mind. To us, you may seem impolite because you in your interactions move directly to business; to you, we seem impolite because their conversation seems so intrusive. But, remember, we are much more interested in the human element of life than most other civilizations tend to be. Also, related, for Turks there is no such thing as staring rudely. They will stare long and hard at anything that interests them with no embarrassment. For you, your being is private property and you feel diminished and irritated when stared at.

Also Westerners inhabit a different personal space from Turks. As most of us have realized, Westerners unconsciously maintain a certain distance from people they are not intimate with and are very sensitive to any form of physical contact. The Turks on the other hand move in very closely and routinely punctuate their conversation by tapping on one's knees or even resting their hand on one's shoulder, arm or even thigh. Such interaction to you does not seem forward (we are talking about interactions between men here, but good women friends are equally physical.) Turkish men walking hand in hand, or kissing (cheeks), and hugging are a common sight outside the Westernized parts of Turkish cities, this behavior does not denote what it would in New York City or San Francisco. Friendships between members of the same sex in Turkey are demonstrated in public, in physical ways that you might associate with romantic love.

In Turkish social situations, except for the deracinated upper class, it is age, which gets the deference. The oldest male is the one who goes first, gets served first, who is shown deference. Upon entering a Turkish house you become a pampered prisoner. You are met at the door where you leave your shoes. In the most traditional houses your hands will be doused with cologne as you cross the thresh hold. You are then ushered to your seat. And this is where you remain until bidden to do otherwise or until the signal for departure, the serving of coffee, sets you free. Traditional Turkish social life is to your eyes extremely static. You do not in a Turkish house wander around, handle objects. And yes, blowing your nose in public is considered impolite.

Shop Etiquette

Much of the etiquette of the home applies in the traditional shops of the bazaar (but not in modern boutiques, shops, and tourist shops). In most places, when standing in front of the shop door, you will be invited in, ushered in to a seat, and offered tea, coffee, or a cold beverage. Do not feel you are being placed under an obligation. You are being given a common courtesy.

The merchant's expectation is to begin with a social chat. Only after the questions and answers and civilities should you mention what you are looking for. If you consider that most of these merchants virtually live in their shops for extremely long business hours hardly even having time with their families you will appreciate why they have come to expect to mix their social life in with their business life.

You do not take things off shelves or piles. You sit and the shopkeeper or his assistants do the presentations. The old-fashioned rug dealers do insist that a customer sit and see virtually every possibility but would not discuss prices. Then on the second time through the customer, after seeing everything, is permitted to ask for prices and additional information.

It is a wonderful way of being educated to all the possibilities. Bargaining (more on that in a later bulletin) is a time-honored way of doing business in the bazaar and as long as you do it pleasantly and appropriately, and with a certain sense of humor you need not be embarrassed about it.